May Meditation Nudge 28

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


Vulnerability & meditation
I believe that meditation requires a degree of vulnerability. I will call it here, self-vulnerability. Another word might be honesty? Unless one has a meditation teacher or meditation cohort with whom you can confide your experiences, meditation is a solitary practice. Sometimes emotions or states of mind arise which you would prefer not to think of a something that you think. However, that thought is there. It just presented itself in your mind. You have two choices - acceptance or denial. Denial puts the lid on the emotion for the time being, but it will surface again. Acceptance is the path that meditation takes.

In choosing to adopt the path of acceptance, we are being vulnerable with ourselves. In choosing to accept the presence of a state of mind that I would prefer not to be there, I am exhibiting a vulnerability towards myself, choosing to see and accept myself as I am. In doing so, I am taking the first steps towards freedom. I note and don’t get involved with the thought, and come back to the object of meditation with no judgement. It is a practice of loving kindness for self. In this acceptance of the thought’s presence is the start of letting it go.

Brené Brown, researcher, author and speaker on the subjects of shame and vulnerability speaks about people who she describes as Wholehearted.

Brené had identified a unique group of people who “fully embraced vulnerability … (who) believed what made them vulnerable made them beautiful.” She named them the Wholehearted.
~ A Look at Wholeheartedness with Brené Brown - B The Change

Or in the words of meditation teacher Pema Chödron, using different words but speaking to the same subject (replace ‘world’ with ‘self’ to personalize the phrasing of the practice),

If we want there to be peace in the world, we have to be brave enough to soften what is rigid in our hearts, to find the soft spot and stay with it. We have to have that kind of courage and take that kind of responsibility. That’s the true practice of peace.
~ Pema Chödron, Practicing Peace in Times of War

May Meditation Nudge 27

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


You are not alone
Meditation is an ancient tradition. Depending on one’s reading of history, the practice of meditation might go back as far as the 20th century BCE. Within the tradition that I was taught meditation, Tibetan Buddhism, Buddhism first arrived in Tibet in the 6th century.

People have been practicing meditation for a long time. Their cultural and situational experience might be very different to this time. The philosophical framework within which they held their practice might be different to yours right now, but the basic practice of focus on an object and being with the mind is there.

So, many individuals have trodden the path that meditators today are walking. Those individuals have had to deal with the ups and downs that meditation brings. That is why instruction exists for handling these circumstances.

So if you are struggling in your practice. If you feel at a low, or are wondering if you will manage to navigate a particular road bump in your meditation, remember that you are not alone. Others have been there before, persevered and found a way round.

Remember these people, reflect on their effort even if you never knew them and use the example of their effort to pull you along.

May Meditation Nudge 26

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


Breaking my own suggestions
I titled one of the earlier articles in this Nudge series, “Beware of waiting for silence before you meditate.” While I believe that the advice that I offer in that piece is important, I am now going to apparently contradict myself!

There are times when the noise of life is getting to me. If I was to use an analogy, it is as though my mind is a glass of muddy water that has been shaken up so much that it is not possible to see the clarity of the water. I need to spend some time to allow that mud to settle, and get my clarity of mind back. For me this is exacerbated as I am an introvert and high sensitive person (HSP). I will find myself getting overwhelmed by external distractions that might not even register on the radar of the more extroverted amongst us. At times I simply need to take a break, have a rest and recharge. That rest can take on the look of say quiet time by myself reading a book, but I have also found meditation can play a part in this. Simply sitting, watching the breath, noting the thoughts and noise in my head as they distract me, and returning to the breath. With time the noise in my head settles, my mind becomes clearer, I feel lighter (both mentally and physically) and better able to reengage with the world.

The trick is to remember not to see meditation as an escape to a quieter place, as I warn in the Nudge article linked to above. Meditation can offer itself as a tool to bring the mind to a quieter place, but meditation can also offer so much more than that. For those times that I need to quieten my mind, when the sense of overwhelm that I am experiencing is hurting me, meditation can be one method available to get me to a healthier place. But remember that we then have to step out into the world which is far from quiet. It is then that I can use the Swiss Army knife of tools that meditation offers to help me deal with the vicissitudes of life, and perhaps help to keep some of the noise at bay before it starts to overwhelm me.

May Meditation Nudge 25

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


Does this ring true for you?
Can you identify with this description? Some days, perhaps for reasons that you cannot really put your finger on, you can’t really find your bearings. You feel as though you are trudging through treacle, not getting anywhere and not really sure where you are headed anyway. You dutifully showed up to your meditation practice, but barely. You did things that you had to do through the day, but did so as though incased in foggy mist that kept you at a distance from what you were doing.

If so, listen to what you need and go and get it, look after yourself, and use mindfulness that you have developed in your meditation practice to stay with the feeling that is enshrouding you. Come up for air where you need to, take care of yourself, and where you can see if you can stay present with the feeling and not get lost in distraction. This too shall pass.

May Meditation Nudge 24

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


Loving kindness
Loving kindness, that acceptance of yourself just as you are. That is something that I don’t always find very easy. I catch myself doing something, reacting to someone, speaking to someone, thinking something that I really wish that I didn’t do, say or think. I have an image of myself and how I want to show up in the world, even if I don’t articulate it to myself, and then something comes out of my mouth that has me squirming.

I think that it is easy to come into meditation thinking something like, “meditation will make me a better person,” and then as I start sitting I find all sorts of thoughts emerging in my mind and I feel anything but a better person. There is no denying them, they are there. I am watching them, noting them, and coming back to the breath.

And there in comes the practice of loving kindness. In practicing meditation we are choosing to show up and be with ourselves regardless of what arises. We note and accept what comes up with no judgement, giving it the space to be, and not reacting against it or getting involved with it. This is not an indulgence. It is not allowing the good and not so good to have reign over us. Rather it is us getting closer to who we are. I am not trying to cover up that which I wish wasn’t there. I am not trying to distract myself and get involved in activities that don’t serve me so that I don’t have to look at myself. Quite the contrary, I am being with my humanness. I am accepting my humanity as it is.

As I start to accept myself, develop loving kindness towards myself, so I then have the ability to start working with those emotions and behaviours that don’t serve me. I can be with them and don’t get pulled so strongly by them. I sit with the agreeable and disagreeable with an open heart. I am no longer having a go at myself for what I wish wasn’t there. There is more acceptance. I am there for myself and don’t give up on myself.

May Meditation Nudge 23

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


Fine tuning the focus
As your practice of watching the breath develops, you can start to use some subtleties to fine tune your focus.

Become aware of the temperature of the breath as it enters the nose and when it leaves the nose. Notice how the breath is cool when you breath in and warm when you breath out.

Become aware of the gap between the in breath and the out breath. There is that point where the breath turns from going in to going out. And there is that point where the breath turns again from going out to going in. As it moves from one direction to another there is a pause, a gap. Can you be aware of that point of turn? Can you be aware of the gap? It is like a suspension of the breath. You are not holding the breath, but as the change over happens for a moment nothing happens. There is simply awareness.

Try exploring these two techniques as your attention to the breath develops.

May Meditation Nudge 22

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


Emotions
Regardless what we are meditating on, sometimes a strong emotion will arise. The practice of just noting the emotion and returning to the object of meditation, for example the breath, can feel like a tug of war between your attempt to meditate and the emotion’s pull for your attention. From my experience the force and strength of the emotion starts to demand a lot of my attention.

My first reaction is to relax into that demanding. Keep coming back to the object of meditation, and be patient with the seemingly never ending demands. Note the emotion, perhaps give it a name if that helps, and return to the object of meditation using awareness and mindfulness - and again, and again, and again. In doing that we are choosing not to engage in the emotion while also not denying its presence, and at the same time building patience with it.

If the content of the emotion is such that it is bothering you too much I offer two suggestions.

  1. Stop the meditation and go and do what you need to do to take care of yourself - time to yourself, speak with someone, take a walk, take a bath, journal. You will know what to do.
  2. Make the emotion the object of meditation. Get to know the emotion. Become more intimate with it.

Through working with option “2.” one can start to break down the separateness between oneself and the emotion, and start to familiarize yourself with how the emotion looks, feels, and moves through your mind. The steps that I offer here are for guidance. Use the framework that the steps suggest as a start for your own imagination and how you can engage with the emotion.

  • Start to watch the emotion. Do not become involved with it, instead have a detached observation in the same way that you might have if you were watching a movie.
  • Ask questions as to what the emotion looks like - does it have a shape? Does it have a colour? Is it solid, a gas, a liquid? Is it fixed or changing?
  • Watch it and see where it goes - are there moments of intensity, are there moments of quiet?
  • Is there one thing that you can call “the emotion”, or is it a changing stream of experiences?
  • If you want to explore what is behind the emotion, ask a question such as, “what do you have to tell me?” Don’t force an answer, just be patient and see if an answer emerges.
  • If it becomes difficult to hold the emotion and the questions, go back to the breath, stabilize the mind, and then return to the emotion.

There are no rights or wrongs, or correct answers to these explorations. Just allow the answers to come in their own way, and in their own time. But through this I can get to know my mind and my emotions better and through that they become more workable. The emotions are no longer so much of a stranger to me and with that and in time, with more familiarization, have less of a pull on me…or I simply catch myself a little bit earlier when the emotion grabs me.

May Meditation Nudge 21

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


Missing your regular meditation
I suggested a couple of weeks ago to look for opportunities in your daily life to meditate. Don’t just limit yourself to your regular session. Build the momentum, build on your practice, look for those opportunities. There is no need to be formal about it. No one even need know that you are meditating while you stand in line to pay for your groceries.

But what about those times when even doing your regular, scheduled practice is a challenge? Work or family commitments interrupt you and pull you elsewhere. Travel, perhaps not such an issue right now, requires an early start or a long day. Life is just such that finding time for regular practice is not possible.

This is another time where the advice that I gave a couple of weeks ago comes into play. Now looking for those opportunities to practice take on an added importance if the priority is to keep the momentum of your meditation going.

Then there are those days where you just don’t get to do much if anything in the way of meditation. If and when those days surface, do not be hard on yourself. If it is still a priority in your life, when the dust settles on life’s commitments the time(s) will reveal themselves. All that is needed is the commitment and perhaps the support of an ally in your practice.

May Meditation Nudge 20

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


Meditate from where you are
Maybe you have set up a routine for your practice? It might be daily, every other day, maybe twice a day. The schedule will vary for different people and that is fine. Set up a schedule that works for you, not one that works for someone else. One Tibetan teacher was asked what is the highest, read “best”, practice that one can do. His reply was,

The one that works for you.

I want to see results from my practice. I don’t want it to be something that is a burden on my life. When that happens I start skipping my practice. I start thinking of it with distain and decide that there are other things in my life that are more enjoyable. Hearing of others meditating no longer inspires me. I no longer get curious to learn about meditation. It drifts from my life.

So you might hear of people setting themselves what appear to be incredible schedules, or working on meditation practices that you judge to reflect in some way that they are better than you. My advice is to put that down. Start from where you are. Practice from your place, and practice sincerely from that place. When I pace my practice from where I am, the results come.

Not only is meditation a marathon and not a sprint, I should have added that it is also not a race.

May Meditation Nudge 19

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


Faith
At first glance this might appear as an odd subject to bring into the world of meditation. What my intention is, is to offer you another tool to support you in your practice. However, for that tool to work first I have to explain what I am meaning here by the word faith.

If you go to someone for advice, try out what they say and it helps you, you will have more faith in that person and are more likely to listen to them the next time that you need help in that same area. If you read a book, try out the advice that the author shares and that helps you, you will have more faith in that author and be more likely to go back to them for advice on their chosen topics.

So where does this sit with meditation? It sits alongside self-confidence that I was talking about yesterday. As you start to experience the results of your practice for yourself, you will start to develop faith not only in the practice, but also in yourself to realize the fruits of your practice. These experiences are valuable. If you feel as though you are going through a phase of little happening with your practice, or if someone else challenges what you are doing, your faith in yourself and your efforts can help to carry you through.

As my own teacher said,

If someone challenges your practice, practice it.

May Meditation Nudge 18

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


Self-Confidence
My teacher use to say of meditation practice that it was like tasting good food. Once you have tasted good food, you want to go back for more. Similarly with meditation, once you start to taste or experience the fruits of practice, you will find yourself wanting to stay with the practice, to experience more and dive deeper.

Perhaps at the start of your practice there is the enthusiasm that comes with finding and starting something new. That sense of newness overrides any doubts that you have in the practice or in yourself. However, with time maybe doubts start to set in with regard to the efficacy of the practice, can really be of any benefit? You perhaps start to feel the tug of external attractions when it comes time for you to sit. You might have heard that meditation is a practice that takes times, but when you not feeling confident about yourself or the practice, that time can feel too long.

How do you overcome the doubts and build self-confidence in your practice?

Through practicing awareness and mindfulness we will start to experience the fruits of practice in our own mind. The instruction is no longer the words in a book or a meditation teacher. Instead the words become a part of us. We experience them for ourselves in our mind. We make them our own through our practice of meditation. Our mind is no longer a stranger to us, but a part of ourselves that we are beginning to get to know more intimately. We see how busy the mind is. We get to know how it works and how the emotions arise within it. We start to notice what triggers us into the various emotions, and with that familiarization become less fearful of the emotions. We find ourselves bringing awareness and mindfulness into our lives and starting to respond more skillfully when emotions arise within us.

All of this takes time, but as we taste these fruits for ourselves we will know, experience the truth in our own heart. With knowing arises confidence in the practice that brought us to that place.

May Meditation Nudge 17

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


Awareness and Mindfulness
Awareness and mindfulness live side by side when we are meditating. We hear more about mindfulness these days.

Mindfulness is constantly, or as constantly as I can muster, checking that my mind has not wandered off from the object of meditation. If my mind has become distracted and is lost in story, it is mindfulness that catches that and brings it back to the object of meditation.

Awareness is being conscious of what we are giving our attention to in that moment. If my object of meditation is the breath as it enters and leaves the nose, awareness is fully with that sensation, watching the breath come and go and not getting in its way. Simply observing.

In choosing to meditate, in choosing to bring awareness and mindfulness into our lives, we are choosing to live with a form of discipline. Note the word choosing. As a meditator this is not being imposed upon you. It is voluntary. You are voluntarily choosing to bring some control to your mind, to train your mind. You are choosing to not let the mind wander off whenever and wherever it feels like. Further more when it does, you are choosing, you are striving to not react, but rather note the distraction and gently return to the object of meditation using the combined actions of mindfulness and awareness.

May Meditation Nudge 16

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


No judgement
Whatever the object of meditation, for example the breath, on trying to focus on that object you will find yourself distracted by your mind. Sometimes more distractions than other, but still you will be distracted. The distractions can be many things, but for me might look like,

  • thinking of the next meal,
  • something that happened just before I came to sit,
  • planning a meeting for tomorrow,
  • a book that I have read,
  • some memory from the past,
  • a noise outside and the story that I create around it,
  • an emotional reaction to someone moving around in another room.

I’m sure that you get the picture. My mind just thinking, being distracted and reacting.

As I have chosen to sit with an object of meditation, when I am distracted I find that that sometimes emotions such as annoyance or anger arise. I am getting annoyed or frustrated with myself that I have lost focus of the object of meditation. I find it can easily happen when I fall into the trap of setting myself standards to meet.

Instead of allowing annoyance to enter your mind, allow yourself to simply note that you have been distracted. Allow there to be no judgement, but a simple acceptance that in that moment you have lost the object of meditation, and with that acceptance return to the breath. However often you are drawn away from the breath, note it, accept it, and gently return to the breath.

In noting and accepting I am applying the ultimate non-violence to myself. I am simply accepting what is and returning to the object of meditation, free of judgement. I might not like what is in my mind, I might not like that I have lost awareness of the breath, but I am training myself to not act out against it - the daily life equivalent being getting lost in addictive or time waisting habits in order to try and blank out what has arisen in the mind.

May Meditation Nudge 15

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


Community
Meditation can be a lonely practice. It is just me sitting with myself. I am choosing to show up and sit with my mind, regardless of how my mind feels. Sometimes I am keen to get to the meditation cushion, sometimes I experience real resistance. My mind feels heavy, I am dealing with life and what I really want to do is distract myself, not sit directly looking at my life.

Getting myself to the meditation cushion can be difficult even if I am blessed with someone to share my sitting with, like a family member or good friend. However, the fact that the other is showing up becomes an impetus for me to show up. “They are sitting and so I can as well.” Somehow that physical presence of the other motivates me to show up as well, even if my meditation practice is a struggle today.

However, perhaps you are a lone meditator with no one in your immediate circle to sit with? Unless you have built a strong muscle of commitment to your meditation practice, come what may, the dedication to showing up can be a struggle and a lonely process. What to do?

My suggestion is look for an accountability partner. This might come in a variety of disguises. Here are some suggestions.

  • Find a friend or family member who you can text/call/email each day at an agreed time to say that you have completed your meditation, or even to share that you couldn’t bring yourself to sit today. That person doesn’t have to be a meditator themselves, simply someone who supports you in what you are doing. Someone who does not judge you for how you show up, but is willing to listen and where appropriate offer some words of support.
  • Find a book/audio recording of someone who inspires you within the realm of meditation practice and read or listen to some words by that person when you are looking for encouragement.
  • Build a support group through social media where you can check in with each other, and encourage each other in your practice.
  • In a time other than this period of social-distancing when I am writing this, look for a meditation group near to you.

You’ll see that most of these do not require you having someone physically with you, but just knowing that you have someone within reach through technology to help support you in your practice. I encourage you to reach out and ask.

May Meditation Nudge 14

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


Just show up
Sometimes I find that I just don’t have the enthusiasm for meditating. The day in, day out routine of sitting regardless of what is going on in my life just feels too much. It is just another thing to do. And still I sit.

When I lived in the Buddhist Community in South Wales we had a regular meditation practice every morning and every evening. This was easy to attend, even a joy to attend when the community was not busy. However when we were busy with visitors and courses, showing up for these practices while feeling tired was a real effort. Focusing and staying awake were a challenge. When I caught myself nodding off to sleep I wondered what I was doing there. My bed, reading a book, or listening to the radio (one luxury that we were allowed), felt much more appealing.

However, with time I saw that those other options were easy. I could choose to take time off, take a rest, not show if I didn’t feel like it. Or I could choose to just show up, come what may. Yes, at times my meditation was far from focused, but this wasn’t about good or bad meditations. This was about building the habit of showing up to meditate. It was a recognition that to gain benefit from meditation came from making it a priority in my life.

My encouragement to you would be to make showing up be the priority. To not decide not to meditate just on the whim of not feeling like it. Instead, look to build the muscle of forbearance and tolerance. Not a grit the teeth resentment at having to be there, but with an honest recognition that that which is beneficial might not always feel good. That that which helps us is there for us when the going gets tough and not only when the going is easy. That meditation is about familiarization, habit building, and if I just meditate when I am feeling good, that will become my habit and I will loose the strength of applying the meditation practice when life gets difficult - and that is probably when I need it the most.

Give yourself a break if you are hurting. Use your wisdom to decide when a break is beneficial, but have that wisdom be informed by an understanding of the part that meditation is playing in your life.

May Meditation Nudge 13

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


Boredom
I write this about meditation practice, but the ideas can be used just as well in your everyday life.

Boredom can arise in our lives when we are feeling uninspired, disliking and uninterested in what we find ourselves doing in that moment. I find that it can be a heavy state of mind, one that can feel as though my mind is dragging a heavy weight behind it. I experience it as dull, ponderous, thick and ceaseless.

When I sit in meditation I do not know what emotion might arise, but boredom can be one of them. From my experience anything done day in and day out, however important it might be in my life, will have days when I am inspired to be there, and days when I just feel as though I am going through the motions. Devoid of any particular insights, I am just sitting again.

So for the duration of my meditation I might find myself sitting with boredom.

If boredom is present and dragging for your attention, give it your attention. Do not push it away, and also do not engage with it. Rather, watch it. Make boredom the object of your meditation. The problems with boredom come out of seeing it as something solid and unchanging that we do not want. Let’s try and change our relationship with it. You do not have to like boredom, but start from the point of being curious about it. Let’s really get to know it. What is it doing?

So watch it, observe from a detached distance as best you can. As you do so, ask yourself,

  • What does boredom look like?
  • Does it have a colour?
  • Does it have a shape?
  • Does it have a smell?
  • What does it feel like?
  • Is it solid, or changing?

These are some starting questions. Stick with these or add your own. The important thing is to be curious and start to get to know this thing called boredom. Like any relationship, do not expect to be comfortable with boredom after a first visit. This will take time, but in time you can develop a more tolerant, open relationship with boredom when it shows up in your meditation and life.

As Meditation Teacher Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche said, in time the boredom,

begins to become cool boredom

May Meditation Nudge 12

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


Take a break
If your set meditation time is 5 minutes, I encourage you to sit through that time. If your set meditation time is 15 minutes, I encourage you to sit through that time. If your set meditation time is 45 minutes, I encourage you to sit through that time. However long your regular meditation time is, I encourage you to sit through that time using your practice as the anchor that navigates you through difficulties that arise - whether in the mind or body.

Sometimes a pain in the body or mind, if sat with, if used as the object of meditation - watching the pain, asking yourself what is its nature? What colour is it? What shape is it? Is it solid, liquid gas? - just the process of watching it, becoming more personal with it, will in time see it pass away.

However, occasionally that is not the case. Maybe a particular difficult state of mind arises out of the blue? Maybe your body starts hurting in a way that just won’t go away? In such circumstances I advise you to take a break. Stretch, breathe, find an expansive view to look out over, stare up at the sky. When you are refreshed and ready, you can come back to your meditation.

May Meditation Nudge 11

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


The Breath
So far I have looked at practicalities of meditation, and not so much at technique. In these nudges I won’t be going into a lot of detail, but intend to give a flavour of what I am talking about. If you have further questions, please do get in touch (see above).

A foundation meditation is awareness of the breath. We breathe every day, the body just breathing itself. We can use the breath as a way to stabilize the mind, to focus the mind, to gain insight into how our mind works, and as preparation and anchor for other meditation techniques.

Here is an outline for a simple breath meditation:

  • Get into a comfortable meditation posture.
  • Reflect for a moment on your motivation.
  • If you are using one, start your meditation timer.
  • Take a couple of deep breaths to help bring yourself to your cushion, to let go of the activities of the day so far.
  • Allow the breath to slowly settle into its natural rhythm. Don’t force the breath. Just allow the breath to breathe itself.
  • Gently bring your awareness to the breath as it enters and leaves the nose. Don’t get involved in the breathing, just be a silent observer to the breath’s presence, the flow of the breath.
  • If you loose the breath by getting lost in thoughts, stories, external distractions, just note the thought or distraction and without judgement simply come back to the breath. How ever often you get lost in thoughts, when you catch yourself gently come back to the breath.
  • If it helps, count each in and out breath as “1”, in and out, “2”, in and out, “3” until you reach “10”, and then come back to “1” again. If you loose count, don’t judge yourself or concern yourself with what number you are at, just come back to “1”.
  • At the end of your meditation session, dedicate the benefits of your meditation.

May Meditation Nudge 10

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


Meditate where you are
As well as having your personal meditation place, I recommend looking for opportunities to meditate in your daily life. They might not be as formal as your regular sitting, in fact you might not even be sitting, but they give you the opportunity to keep the familiarization with you practice going and help you bring your meditation into your life.

Places that you might choose to meditate could include,

  • standing in line at the checkout at the grocery store, bank, etc
  • at this time of the COVID-19 virus, standing in line waiting to get into the store
  • when you go to the toilet
  • out walking
  • working in the garden
  • are you on the computer? Stop periodically to breathe and come back to yourself. Perhaps every 30, 45 minutes? There is software available for most platforms to remind to take a break
  • while waiting to pick the car up from a service
  • sitting in the park, on the beach, etc
  • are you on your phone? Put it down and meditate instead

Use your creativity in looking for those opportunities to meditate. It doesn’t have to be long. Thirty seconds, a minute grabbed here and there keeps the building the acquaintance with your practice.

May Meditation Nudge 9

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


Beware of waiting for silence before you meditate
At first glance this nudge might appear contradictory to yesterday’s post, but it is not. I still advocate for the importance of having your own special place where you go to sit. Having such a place gets me in the right frame of mind for meditating and I look forward to being there. However, for me my meditation place is in my home. At times my home is quiet when I choose to sit, at other times it is not. The disturbances can be all sorts of unexpected everyday occurrences and the time of day doesn’t seem to matter much either, though early morning I am less likely to be disturbed.

The risk is to go looking for silence when you sit, of seeing your meditation as an escape from the noise of life. Sometimes that might have a place, but the important thing is to show up regardless of external circumstances. Meditation is not an escape from life, but a coming back to life, to paraphrase Zen Meditation Master Thich Naht Hanh.

If meditation becomes a habit of finding a place to run to escape the noise of life, its results will be conditional. If I am looking for silence in my move to meditate, I will probably find myself also having to deal with the annoyance that I feel when my meditation is disturbed by external interruptions.

The key is acceptance of what is. I am not suggesting that you don’t ask for what you want, less noise, but accept that sometimes you are not going to get it. If you can change it, great. If not, make do with what is and still meditate.

So still look to create that meditation place, but accept that sometimes it might not have all of the qualities that you are after.

May Meditation Nudge 8

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


Creating a place to sit
When we sit it is helpful, indeed I might say important that we have a place that is conducive to us for calming our mind. A place of our own which is just for sitting. That just to think about this place, wherever we are and whatever we are doing, will bring the mind to a calmer place because of what you associate it with. A space that we look forward to returning to each time that we sit.

Such a place can be a room of your own if you are blessed with enough space at home, or it can be in the corner of a room. You can set a table up there with images and/or pictures of people who inspire you. You can place books on there with words that inspire you, a book that you perhaps pick up and read just before sitting. There might be a candle there, or some flowers. Perhaps you burn some incense just before you sit or use a vaporizer with some essential oils? AND it can just be very simple.

The important thing is that you create a place that is special for you for sitting.

May Meditation Nudge 7

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


Motivation & Dedication
If you are joining the meditation sessions, you’ll know that just before the sitting starts I suggest that we sit for a moment and reflect on our reason for being there. In saying that I mean what is our motivation, our intention, our goal in deciding to spend a part of our day sitting in meditation? Something is bringing us to the meditation cushion. What is it?

At the end of the meditation, before getting up and resuming our day, I invite us to reflect back on the motivation that we set ourselves at the beginning of the meditation, and in our own way dedicate any benefits that we have received through meditation to the accomplishment of that motivation. You might feel that the benefits are intangible, maybe even questionable? However, we have spent time meditating instead of doing something else. We are building that habit of meditation for ourselves. We are building that muscle of meditation, taking that one step further in our practice. There is benefit alone in that. It is that idea of Familiarization that I spoke about two days ago.

By creating this moment to sit and reflect, we are creating a gap between daily life and our meditation. I am not suggesting that we will not receive benefit if we do not do this, but from my experience giving myself time to reflect on my motivation and dedicating the benefits, cements the practice that little bit deeper in me and helps me to take an awareness of the practice into my life.

May Meditation Nudge 6

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


Meditation is a marathon not a sprint
We live in a world of quick results (a lot of the time). Flick a switch and the light goes on. Look at the speed and capability of the device that you are reading this on.

Meditation is not the place to go for swift results. The results will come but they’ll take time. Meditation teaches me patience and acceptance of myself as I look at my mind, wanting it to be at peace with the world and seeing it struggle at times. An insight comes from one sitting and is gone within five minutes of getting up. It is not embedded into my being. So I go back to the practice.

This is one reason why I said a couple of days back to beware of judging your meditation sessions good or bad. Just stick with the practice. Be patient, and the results will come.

May Meditation Nudge 5

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


Familiarization
My background in meditation comes via the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, specifically the Gelug-pa tradition, which I have been practicing for 30 years now. Although I have complimented my Tibetan practice with studies of other spiritual traditions and philosophies, my center and focus is the Gelug-pa tradition. In speaking about meditation I like to strip the conversation of Buddhist material while keeping the essence of what is useful to a wider audience regarding the practice of meditation.

With this in mind I find it useful to reflect on the Tibetan word for meditation, göm. Göm means ‘to familiarize’. Where I see meditation leading us comes out of this word göm.

Within the context of meditation we are looking to familiarize ourselves with our mind, to get to know it better, to spend time with our mind, to learn to be with and not react to difficult states of mind, and ultimately to transform our mind. The transformation here comes with familiarizing ourselves and developing positive states of mind - love, compassion, patience, generosity, and the like.

May Meditation Nudge 4

This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube. If you have any questions, please contact me.


Frequency - how often and for how long?
For me this is a question of quality over quantity. There are no awards in the meditation world for gritting your teeth and trying to sit for as long or as often as you can.

Build slowly and steadily.

If you sit for longer than you are truly comfortable with the danger is that in time you will develop an aversion to meditation. You look at your meditation cushion, you even just think of your meditation cushion and aversion to meditation starts to arise. Meditation starts to be associated with discomfort, mental and physical.

Scheduling & how long for:

  • Find a time or times in the day that work for you.
  • Times that fit into your wider life schedule.
  • Early morning is a good time, when the mind is settled and the world is waking up. However, if that is not a good time for you, that’s fine.
  • Better to sit for a short time everyday/every other day/etc, than grit your teeth and sit for an hour one day and never again for a week or two.
  • What do I mean by short time? In essence I mean a time that is comfortable for you. 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 30 minutes, whatever you are easily comfortable with. No rights or wrongs here. You will know what works for you. Use that. You can increase it in your own time with experience, if you want to.

In the same way that we can all have good and bad days, you will still have meditations that feel comfortable and others that feel difficult. However, by making your schedule workable for you, you will be able to handle the ups and downs.

As I said above, build slowly and steadily.